Monday, 14 October 2013

Why catcalling is not a compliment

By Joy McManus

Catcalling is defined by Urban Dictionary, a relevant source in this case, as:

‘When a guy gives the wert whirl whistle or yells at a babydoll for the purpose of getting attention and in hopes of a future hook up… 99.9% [of the time] a hookup never arises and it’s just the thrill that keeps these going’

Sometimes if a girl gets catcalled and then communicates that she didn’t appreciate it the response can often be ‘take it as a compliment’, which I don’t understand. How is it meant to be a compliment if a passing stranger thinks they have the right to comment on your body or how much they’d like to have sex with you? The fact that we need to justify why catcalling is wrong saddens me- surely not being shouted at and harassed as we go about our daily lives should be a human right.

When I was in secondary school two of my friends and I used to count the number of beeps we thought were for us when walking down the street because, for some unfathomable reason, we took them as a compliment. Nowadays that couldn’t be further from my view of it.

One reason I hate catcalling is that it can ruin a good mood. The last house I lived in was a fair distance from town, so whenever I walked anywhere I used to stick my music on or pray as I was going along the country roads. I was usually in a good mood, but a few times the walk wasn’t so nice. I was shouted at on several occasions, screamed at once, and I’m sure that one time someone threw something at my back. In all these instances the perpetrators were in their cars so by the time I had realised what had happened, and had turned to give them a piece of my mind, they were gone. A compliment should put someone in a better mood, not shock someone out of one.

A compliment should also build someone up and, when given by someone you trust and who you have given permission to be in your life, can be very positively powerful things. When someone I know and respect told me at the beginning of this year that I was capable of doing something I was nervous about it made a me feel a lot more confident, and still does! But when a stranger catcalls you it’s an invasion of your privacy. They have no right or place to interrupt your day and make a judgement or remark based on how you look or are dressed.

Finally, the percentage of men who catcall (as far as I’m aware female catcalling is a lot rarer) ruin it for the rest of them. One time I was walking with a small group of my female friends when some guy beeped his horn and shouted out of the window in our direction. Me, and at least one other member of the group, went to turn around and indicate that we did not return whatever sentiments he was trying to express, when we realised it was someone we knew and they were simply saying ‘Hi!’. Also, whenever I’m walking anywhere by myself when it is getting dark I naturally tense up a bit whenever I pass a guy. In my head I know that they’re probably just trying to get from A to B without any trouble like I am but, after hearing stories of other people’s experiences, I’m naturally wary.

Catcalling is not and should never be thought of as a compliment, what it actually is is an anti-social intrusion into people’s privacy. Verbal harassment is unwelcome and disrespectful and the sooner we embrace this realisation, and learn not to tolerate it, the better!

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and if you want to see more from Joy, check out her blog

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