Tuesday 24 December 2013

Single at Christmas



 By Jo Paterson

So it’s Christmas; schools have broken up for the holidays, town centres are crammed full with shoppers and festooned with lights, Christmas songs dominate radio playlists and you can’t watch anything on tv without being reminded of what the season is supposed to be about (ie. food, presents, family, love and celebrating the perfectness of life)... This isn’t a scroogey Christmas blog where I’m about to say how much I hate all these things because actually, I love them. I love Christmas. 

But what gets me is that according to the world, I’m supposed to be coupled up, receiving something expensive from my gorgeous loving boyfriend, spending Saturdays hand in hand with him in town and cold winter nights cuddling up with him on the sofa. What is it about Christmas that fills us with dread at the prospect of being alone? Christmas is all about being together, the media tell us, and I know that that is about family and friends and community. But we’re also pummelled with the idea that our Christmas isn’t perfect without an adoring other half to complete us. 

And if we’re not in a couple, then we should damn well be getting some. The coldest time of year is not apparently the time to cover up but to don a sexy Santa outfit and make sure we’re prepped and primed for the party season. According to Cosmo, “Being single at Christmas can feel like the end of the world” but helpfully points out a few great perks of a single status at this time of year which include “with bundles of mistletoe, the opportunities are endless”. Hmm, so to console myself I should get out there and start kissing more boys? And hey, I don’t have to rely on my ordinary self to do that because I’ve got a Christmas plant to help me...The Independent echoes this sentiment in the guise of an article which seemingly want us to celebrate ourselves but which ends with the idea of “hanging round under the mistletoe” and directs us to join the newspaper’s dating network Independent Dating...Am I missing something here? The Evening Standard goes one step further claiming that the true meaning of Christmas is the festive fling “beer goggles at their most opaque, the weather encourages coupling”. 

Having recently gone through a break-up, this over riding message that I am missing out without a boy to spend the Christmas season with, whether that be love or just fun, feels harder to reject. But in fact, that’s just another lie spun by our culture – that we need to be with someone to make us feel attractive/loved/happy. And hey there’s nothing wrong with Christmas romance, but equally not having it is not missing out. This Christmas I will most likely be watching cheesy films, sleeping in every day, eating too many chocolates, singing carols, exchanging presents, walking by the sea, and best of all getting time with my friends and family. Screw mistletoe, I’m having fun without it.

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